I say that my studies had led me to these conclusions, and so they had. I had discovered certain chemicals which in combination could bring down the barrier between those different selves of which I speak. They could shake the body and pluck back the earthly vestments which is the true heart's disguise. I do not intend to tell you further of which elements I used, nor in which combinations they were effective, for two reasons. First, because the ultimate result of these alchemical devisings was to teach me that the doom and burden of man's investigations is laid around his neck, like an albatross, calling life and death forth in judgment and condemning him for all time. Secondly because after a time, it became all to apparent to me that my studies had been incomplete and I knew not what I was dealing with, my own impurities being led astray by those of my chemicals.

With study and perseverance I found my studies in conjunction. I had the theory that revealed the duality of my nature, and I finally concocted the draught which would separate them. But then I hesitated. I knew well, from all my long studies in medicine, that what I risked was more than I had. A draught potent enough to effect the dissolution of corporeal bonds that I sought, would also surely be enough to dissolve me altogether into those less earthly realms. I also recall, and maintain that this is truth and not false remembrance, that fear of success stayed my hand, at least a while.